The Purpose of Tools
Saturday, August 15th, 2009My daughter Erin found this going around on the ‘net long ago, and I thought it should make another round, because it is so true!
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
LEFT HAND: Opposable thumb, especially. Used to dampen sound of impact from hammer.
MECHANIC’S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing leather goods.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads and transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. Also used to (more…)
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